


Stay Alive

by Anonymous



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Gen, Jeremy dealing with a terrifying situation basically?, Survivor Guilt, pre-established Bobo/Jeremy friendship implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 12:15:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13570404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Everyone wanted to think that they were the person that would help someone in danger; experiencing first hand you wouldn’t- you couldn’t, it was an awful feeling.  The guilt wasn't going to leave him anytime soon.





	Stay Alive

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kimmins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimmins/gifts).



> Wrote this to kinda vent some of my own negative emotions and sent it anonymously to [ Kimmins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimmins/pseuds/kimmins) over on tumblr. Decided this morning to share it here too.

Jeremy was trembling, fingernails biting into his palms as he curled his hands by his side. It was grounding, a distraction from the blossoming heat of anxiety, or maybe it was shame, that he felt down his back and across his shoulders. It was one of the strangest but worst sensations.

He hadn’t been able to do anything, hidden around this corner, tucked into a small nook with shadows falling over it. His heartbeat still hammered a frantic pace against his ribs, even now the screaming from the next room had stopped. He still felt sick, even with the silence. The fear had won out, he’d wanted to help, part of him was desperate to. Usually he didn’t hesitate before jumping into danger no matter how much he should. But this time the voice reminding him that if he tried to help he’d be the next one screaming, reminding him he might not make it out alive, had kept him frozen in the end.

He wasn’t like the rest of the team; he didn’t have any combat ability. Without his ray gun he was practically defenseless. His best chance to survive had been to stay hidden, he knew that, but that didn’t make the guilt any less. Even now that the danger seemed to have passed, he couldn’t make himself move from his hiding spot. Horror kept him in place. He was so not cut out for being in the field, not in the slightest. Keep the monsters contained and measurable, let the capable people handle interacting with them.

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed in the silence, gaze unfocused, disjointed guilty thoughts plaguing his mind. He only noticed he’d started crying when the tears blurred his vision. It was silent, still, not the sort of crying with sobs. He didn’t move his hands to try and wipe the tears away, just let them track down his face. Everyone wanted to think that they were the person that would help someone in danger; experiencing first hand you wouldn’t- you couldn’t, it was an awful feeling. The guilt wasn’t going to leave him anytime soon.

Eventually something broke the silence, and for a heart stopping moment Jeremy was convinced the thing must have come back. Shutting his eyes, he drew in a slow breath to try and calm himself. The noise wasn’t like the thing before, the footsteps sounded human. Human meant it could be one of his friends. So why wasn’t he moving, he should move, he should…. 

His hands uncurled from his sides, making him wince as he realized some of his fingernails had broken skin, leaving small crescent marks on his palms. He couldn’t seem to find the will to get to his feet.

Not that it ended up mattering; a familiar figure rounded the corner, blue eyes quickly spotting Jeremy among the shadows.

Jeremy blinked up at Bobo, a jolt of relief coursing through him. He didn’t realize how stiffly he’d been holding himself until he started to relax, shoulders slumping. Because he would be okay now, he wasn’t alone, the demon wasn’t going to let whatever that thing had been hurt him if he could help it.

The revenant crouched down in front of him, hands coming to settle on his knees. And Jeremy hadn’t realized he was trembling again until that moment. Had he actually ever stopped trembling? Bobo’s gaze was locked intently on him. His gaze was generally like that, intense, focused, riddling things out about the situations around him.

“Hey, you alright Junior?” Jeremy noticed the way the revenants eyes scanned him, looking for injuries. He swallowed, letting his head fall forward against his knees, and by extension the back of Bobo’s hands. He wanted to say he was fine, he was physically, he wasn’t injured. But the words wouldn’t come, he couldn’t make himself say them. Because they weren’t true, and he didn’t have the energy to pretend they were.

“I just-” his voice was thick, words not coming naturally for once. “God, the screaming- I couldn’t- I should’ve.” He shook his head minutely. Bobo’s hands shifted, one rising to cradle the back of Jeremy’s head.

“You did exactly what you should have done,” the revenant said firmly, using his other hand to raise Jeremy’s chin so he would look at him.

“You stayed alive.”


End file.
